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I did find Japanese guys very attractive, but they would never approach me, being notoriously shy around foreign women.
I could sometimes detect a flicker of interest, at most, before they ran away. From what I gathered from my Japanese girlfriends, it seemed to involve a lot of passiveness, indirect communication, text messaging, misunderstandings and patience.
taking you on a casual stroll through Dogenzaka, also known as Love Hotel Hill in Shibuya.
When I moved to Japan about five years ago, I quickly realized that finding love in this country was not going to be an easy task.
Most western men I met were either gay, in a relationship or only interested in Japanese women.
Most first dates were a bit nerve-wracking, as you are after all meeting a complete stranger or potential psychopath, but getting to know each other was quite easy.
If conversation topics ran out, we could always talk about life in Japan or abroad, or worse case scenario, how good I was at using chopsticks.
After a particularly gloomy weekend, I decided that some no strings attached action sounded a lot better than no action at all.
I joined Japan Cupid, a dating website and started combing through profiles of creeps, charisma men and thankfully, potentially interesting Japanese guys.
For one, it takes time to find quality matches, especially on Tinder.
You will also probably have your share of disappointing dates…
Some also claimed to be looking for friends or even language partners; though I’m not sure why they would be on a dating site if they were not also looking for something else…
I soon found myself having dinner with a string of attractive Japanese men – the same ones that would never approach me before.
After a tough and manly karate coach turned into a pink shaking mess when I invited him back to my place, it became apparent that a subtle approach might work better.