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After chatting to a few men online, it seemed that most were far more interested in my citizenship than who I was, which is an immediate fail.However I did meet one man through Shaadi.com, Prem and I dated for a few months.Reflecting on these experience I felt a bit perplexed, so I typed “Indian Men” into Google.
According to the article more than 65% of Indian men believed that women should tolerate violence to keep the family together and that women sometimes deserved to be beaten, furthermore 24% admitted to having committed sexual violence in their lives.
Whilst I have fortunately not come across anyone who has demonstrated these behaviours, it does seem to indicate that there are some deep seated issues in Indian culture where many men are treating women with little respect.
So which one is true, or are they the two faces of the same person.
It continued on for pages and pages, lists of sites denigrating the Indian male and trying to explain reasons for his various “behaviours”. Up popped a range of sites of beautiful women, dating sites, some women’s rights organisations and beauty websites.
Also it is unclear to me if the separation of men and women (for example in the trains) is a reaction to the violence or the cause.
Feeling a little uneasy, I continue on with my internet research and find this blog on Reasons to Marry an Indian Man.
We got along well and I enjoyed his company, until is philandering ways became apparent. It felt like he was a little boy hiding from his mother, not the strapping man that I had thought he was.
Even at that point, he cowered and seemed incapable of admitting and facing the truth of his own behaviour. I recently arranged to catch up with an intelligent man I had come across, but on our first meeting he brought along a female friend.
One commentator in the article argues that the separation of males and females contributes to sexual violence, as women are viewed only as sexual objects.
I am not sure about this as in western societies, where there is no such delineation, women are also viewed as sexual objects and sexual violence still occurs.
As I am traveling, I most often come across the average man on the street, like the stall owner or rickshaw driver.