I aimed right past his defeat, asking him to disregard how he feels so that our entire memory of the trip is a positive one – I was selfish in this moment.My husband stopped me by telling me how my words hurt him.

The rub comes when we start questioning ourselves, like I did about our education choices.

Of course, we must take into account that God may be leading us to make a change, but what I’m referring to is when we feel not “good enough” in comparison to others and desire their validation.

It is much easier, my life is much easier, if he remains constant, if he doesn’t need me.

We had been traveling for quite some time and my husband’s patience was wearing.

– Acknowledge: Sincerely inquire about how he feels without interrupting.

– Respond: Listen to the grievance and then graciously empathize. – Serve: Offer assistance that will serve and bless your husband.

I call this different gospel the “goodness gospel”: my goodness, my life, my spiritual growth is up to me, and I’ll know how I’m doing based upon the specific things that I value or think make me a good Christian.

Aside from living in a self-selected huddle, living by the goodness gospel doesn’t bother us much.

And I am learning it is oh so very important to do this!