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Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. She got on the scale and it read 117 so she won a prize. When the ride was over, John again asked Kim what she would like to do. The couple walked around the carnival and again he asked where to next. By this time, John figured she was really weird and took her home early, dropping her off with a handshake.

Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton wadding, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased. Her roommate, Laura, asked her about the blind date, "How'd it go? " So the dentist says, "Okay, we'll have to go with the gas." The cowboy replies, "Absolutely not. I'm not having gas." So the dentist steps out and comes back with a glass of water, "Here," he says. " The doc replies, "Viagra." The cowboy looks surprised and asks, "Will that kill the pain?

-- A bloke was sitting on a bus when a gorgeous woman next to him starts breastfeeding her baby. " -- A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker is wearing an earring.

The baby won't take it so she says, "Come on, eat it all up or I'll give it to this nice man here." Ten minutes later, the baby is still not feeding so she says again, "Eat it all up or I'll give it to this nice man here". The man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in fashion sense. She replies "My boss and I played the lotto and we won again, so I bought it with my share of the winnings." Another week later, his wife comes home, driving a flaming red Ferrari.

" POLICE #1 While taking a routine vandalism report at a primary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. "Well, then," she said as she extended her foot toward me, "would you please tie my shoelace? Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. " ELDERLY While working for an organisation that delivers lunches to the elderly, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds.

Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, "Are you a cop? My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. " It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs.

Please don't stop there though - my ego is directly linked to the influx of various items from all corners and without it I'd lapse into a vegetative. What don't I want is probably easier so basically just avoid anything with cruelty and/or sex with kids and/or animals and you should be right. It's insulting to those of us who actually know something about Islam, just like it would be insulting to Christians to spread pictures in non-Christian countries insinuating that radical evangelical hate groups (like the Westboro baptist church) represent all of Christendom.

Those people are definitely assholes, but they are not representative of 99% of Christians, just like clitoral mutilation is not advocated by 99% of Muslims.

During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now.

She's hitting the bottle." A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room.

There's enough mail this week to go and start a whole other site but what fun would that be for me... Thanks however go to everyone who has filled my box. Yo Orsm, Big fan of your site, not so much a fan of the ignorant shit people seem fond of sending you.