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When I decided to marry a Frenchman, my family’s concern was the normal one that parents have about whether their children have made the right decision; my partner’s nationality played only a minor role.

So when a neighbour took it upon herself to tell my mother that I was being an irresponsible daughter by marrying outside my “caste” and moving abroad, it upset me at many levels.

Her experiences in those two years in Mumbai before the couple moved to Los Angeles forever clouded the way Aarya thought of the city in which she had grown up.

“Being with my own husband would make me uncomfortable because men would pass lewd comments with even more alacrity than when I was alone,” said Aarya.

Such attitudes towards mixed-race couples are just another expression of the intolerance that won’t countenance Hindu women marrying Muslim men.

And a mixed-race couple in which one person is black often brings out the worst kind of racism.

Then there is patriarchy: Women who venture out of the nest to seek a mate must lack decency.

And there’s the drive towards conformity: The ugly head that raises itself at the sight of anything that dares to deviate from the norm.

“My husband,” I replied after a while, snapping out of savouring my first-ever snorkelling session.