Common sense and common decency so obviously required allowing party givers to know who would attend that it would have been insulting to point this out.

How much humanity does it require to recognize the callousness of friends' ignoring your hospitable overtures?

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When I train new etiquette instructors, I encourage them to somehow incorporate their biggest etiquette pet peeve into their new business' names. It will be a constant reminder of why they embarked on their new careers and it is a great conversation starter. After starting my business, I became used to queries like, "I can never remember what RSVP means... Then there was the mother of twins who invited my daughter to their birthday party. " each of the 3 times I stated that I was RSVP'ing to the invitation. For both occasions, invitees had 3 ways to respond to them; reply to me at my rsvpinstitute email account, mail the response card (already stamped and addressed to me at The RSVP Institute of Etiquette), or call me at 800-891-RSVP.

I learned both of these things when I started The R. It was like playing a bizarre round of, "Who's on first? Yet I still frustratingly had to call several people to ask, "Will you be joining us?

Give yourself at least a week between your RSVP date and the date your venue and caterer need a guest count.

We highly recommend giving yourself a week or more to call guests who haven’t responded so you can get an accurate head count for the venue and caterer.

When the invitation is verbal, we must avoid being urged; for nothing is more foolish and disobliging; we ought either to accept or refuse in a frank and friendly manner, offering some reasonable motive for declining, to which we should not again refer.

It is not allowable to be urged, except when we are requested to dine with someone whom we have seen only at the house of a third person, or when we are invited on a visit or other similar occasion.

Do not invite more guests than your venue or budget will allow.

Destination Weddings Destination wedding invitations should be sent 12 weeks before the wedding date, and we recommend setting your response date for six weeks before the wedding date.

An engraved form to be filled in is vulgar—nothing could be in worse taste than to flaunt your popularity by announcing that it is impossible to answer your numerous invitations without the time-saving device of a printed blank.