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Then rinse off, pull the plug, and watch the water drain from the tub, imagining that all the energy from the relationship is rinsing down the drain along with it. The clear distinction is this - you are processing if you are letting what needs to move through you naturally move through you. You can simply repeat "I welcome infinite possibilities" as your mantra for the days following. It may not look like what you expect it to, but I promise it's there.You are attaching if you are creating MORE stuff to process. As mentioned above, I also called on some other help.
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For over a year, I've been enmeshed in what I'd call a really long tortuous break-up from a relationship that never existed. We met, we swooned, we fucked, we fought, we ended. You can close the ceremony by chanting "Kali Durge Namo Namah" which calls on the deities Kali and Durga, who are goddesses known to protect you from evil and to help to powerfully remove and cut through what is no longer serving you.
It was more of the same but some how accelerated and worse. I fell so hard, I blew past my bottom, into negative space. I meditated more than I have ever meditated in my life. It was a primal, tear soaked and expletive-laced affair, and if my neighbors didn't think I was bat-shit crazy before this night, they most certainly do now. That this EXACT person is the EXACT piece of the puzzle.
I began to tally the days away from him like I did the days away from cigarettes and booze. Every last guilt, shame, regret, injustice, anger, resentment, attachment. I promise if the needed lessons are learned, you want the release, and you do the work, it The truth is so often we think we know best, especially when it comes to love.
If you want to DIY some energy work, try this restorative somatic yoga practice on Yoga Glo by Steph Snyder.
It's a GENTLE practice almost anyone can do to release stuck energy.
Each time I walked away, I was sure I had finally broken the cycle. Every contact, every picture, every email, every text, every digital everything from every man ever. Then I drew a bath, dumped an ENTIRE bottle of frankincense oil in it, and poured about 3 pounds of epsom salts over my head, my body, my face. Not to make space for someone else to fill the void. The truth is, there is already a plan in place that is grander than our limited vision can see, and our small attachments to individual outcomes with specific people literally blinds us from the bigger plan in place.
"Just one kiss." "Just this once." It seemed harmless. With no where else to go, I went the only way I could see to go. The next day, when that still didn't feel like enough, I purged some more. So we pray not so much for the best outcome, we pray for the outcome that is best with a certain individual.
To truly clear yourself from a toxic tie, here is a proposed protocol, adapted from Tosha Silver's masterpiece, .