If you both feel a connection and want to have sex, go with the flow We place a lot of importance, misguidedly I feel, on not having sex on the first date.

Whether we’re reluctant to perpetuate the stereotype that gay men are promiscuous, or tell ourselves boys who give it up on the first date are less desirable, we certainly think too much about this one.

Be positive Many guys are very clear in their dating profiles – almost rudely so – about what they don’t want or like.

Not only is this far too prescriptive, you also run the risk of coming across as overly negative.

For more gay dating insight from The Guyliner visit his website and put his words into practice and meet someone new on our gay dating page.

Discover gay singles looking for meaningful relationships online on Guardian Soulmates.

While you’re checking your racism, think about the way you talk to other guys who aren’t just like you.

“Older men are really hot” is nowhere near as serious as racism, and it might seem like a compliment, but this guy doesn’t want to be defined by his age, any more than you’d expect someone to fancy you because of your postcode or shoe size.If you like someone enough, open your mind to other possibilities.Don’t rule someone out just because you’re both bottoms, for example; nothing is set in stone.If you’re white, don’t say you’re “really into black guys”. You’re objectifying a person with no thought for what else he might have to offer.You’re saying, “You tick a box, you’ll do” like they’re not a person, but a means to satisfy your kink.We whinge that we can’t find the right man, or never get a second date, but the usual reason is we’re not looking hard enough in the first place.