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If you were to be turned into an animal, what would you choose? 'So you can let go with your questioning.'alker - your date - will have a positive association to the listener - you - and will feel like they have had a good time,' Madeleine says.'Humans are ultimately ego-centric and love nothing more than talking about themselves.Not only is it difficult to guess what others will find attractive in us, but we also can’t be sure what we really want in our partners until we meet them. It’s based on research I did for my book , published by Oneworld this week.
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Intuitively building an idea of a person from snapshots of their life – “thin-slicing” as it is known in psychology – is the next best thing when you can’t actually meet them face-to-face. Psychologist Sam Gosling at the University of Texas, who studies how people form impressions of others from cues in their environment, has found that someone’s possessions can teach us more about them than a direct conversation, and more even than what their friends or colleagues might say about them.
If you’re seeking to “read” someone from pictures of their apartment, Gosling’s research can help you.
He’s discovered, for instance, that a messy desk does not necessarily denote a messy mind, or even a creative one: variety of reading material is more telling than quantity.
The point of our social experiment on 21Pictures is to prime people’s dating instincts and encourage them to go with their hunches on just these kinds of cues.
'Find out about their interests, passions, hobbies, how they take their tea, how they grew up and their favourite memories.'Madeleine also advises making the questions quirky.
She advises asking: What is your favourite childhood cartoon character and why?
In this age of rationality and endless data, intuition is often looked upon as an inferior means of problem-solving. I do not know that I am,” remarked Albert Einstein before his theory of relativity was tested and confirmed as the basis of a new way of looking at the world.
Yet in many situations, even in the hard sciences, it is the most useful means of all. The value of intuition is underplayed in many areas of life, nowhere less so than in online dating.
Making it casual indicates that you put value on the person and not the actual night out, Madeleine says.
And by showing that you are not willing to give a total stranger more than 60 minutes of your time, Madeleine also says you are illustrating your own self-respect.'Ask questions of your date that demonstrate you are interested in who they are as a person,' Madeleine says.
'Although make sure you are not laughing at your date's expense.'During the meeting, touch your date but keep it subtle.