He said a woman brought her baby to see him, and he determined right away that the baby had an earache. In the directions he wrote, "Put two drops in right ear every four hours" and he abbreviated "right" as an R with a circle around it.

Several days passed, and the woman returned with her baby, complaining that the baby still had an earache, and his little behind was getting really greasy with all those drops of oil.

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When the suspect crossed the state line, the first trooper pulled over quickly.

The rookie trooper pulled in behind him and said, "Hey, sarge, why did you stop?

The machines' conveyor belts needed talcum powder to prevent them from sticking, and we had run out of aspirin for workers with noise-induced tension headaches.

I drove to the nearest store and loaded a shopping cart with four cases of baby powder and several boxes of aspirin.

Suddenly, from the rear of the plane, an elderly man in the uniform of an Air Force General is seen slowly walking forward up the aisle.

Stopping the flustered mother with an upraised hand, the white-haired, courtly, soft-spoken General leans down and, motioning toward his chest, whispers something into the boy's ear.

Your time is up." Several minutes passed, but the boat didn't return.

"Boat number 99," he again hollered, "return to the dock immediately or I'll have to charge you overtime." "Something is wrong here, boss," his assistant said. There is no number 99." The manager thought for a moment and then raised his mega-phone: "Boat number 66," he yelled. " My family physician told me of an incident that actually happened to him back in the early days of his practice.

As the man behind me in the checkout line peered at my purchases, he laughed and exclaimed, "Must be one heck of a baby!

" Doctor Jones likes to stop into his local bar after work for an almond daiquiri.

As the General slowly makes his way back to his seat, one of the cabin attendants touches his sleeve.